New Boy on the Block

What's better than getting dressed up for an evening and meeting some new? Okay, so he's moving a little fast with him being naked and all but you gotta give a guy props for effort right?

**disclaimer: this is a statue. I know that is obvious to most of my readers however I am "covering my butt" on this one.

Things you don't know about me

-I used to have a lazy eye lid that a surgeon stitched up for me when I was a kid. It is the reason one of my eye lids blinks sometimes without the other.

-I literally jump into bed every night. It's a good time.

-My phone is literally on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

-I count down in my head 10 seconds to complete tasks or count up steps or motions

Example: If I am pressed for time in the shower, I only allot 10 seconds to wash my hair, ten seconds to rinse and so on. If I complete a step faster than ten seconds, I get to start the next step on the previous steps remaining time (which is good because shaving takes longer than shampooing). I also allot myself ten seconds to stand under the shower at the end as a reward. Time for tasks is ALWAYS counted down (10-9-8-7-...). It's usually always in 10 second increments.

When I walk up stairs, I count them. When I wisk an egg, I count the whisks. I dont think I do it all the time, only when I am anxious, uncomfortable or very concentrated. Then again, maybe I do but just don't notice.

Is there a term for this?

-I paint and make art. It's new.

-I have a book with letters to my future husband dating back to my teen years. I update once in a while (as in every two years when I find the book by accident) but mostly by writing this: "seriously, I was so lame two years ago". I plan to burn these mothers down before I pass away single and am embarassed out of my new holy body in heaven.

-I keep all letters and cards when someone writes thoughtful things. I still have letters from kids in my class in grade 3 when I had my tonsils removed. One of them updated me on an important issue in the class, it says "Clint still does not wear any shoes". I liked Clint and still remember giggling about this card.

-I have an incredible memory. It doesn't work much for dates/names/facts but does for people and events. Usually if I remember something you've said or have done, I can see in my mind exactly where you were and the things around you. My first three memories I have were before the age of two, verified by my mother.

-Anyone still reading?

-I get anxious when my knowledge is tested. If you want to see me go red and stutter, ask me about politics, math, geography and anything going on in the world. Numbers are the worst, nah actually politics..im getting the shakes even thinking about the lack of knowledge I posses. Who knew Jesus wasn't the "answer" to everything...I knew I disliked Sunday School for a reason...

-My most irrational fear is of snakes. I do not recommend testing this, unless you don't want to be friends anymore.

-I think scrubs are the sexiest thing a man can wear. "helloooo doctor" "Eww, Meaghan, he is seriously 50 years old". Scrubs are magical pieces of clothing.

-My favorite band when I was six was a rock band named 'Roxette'. I saw them in concert when I was in kindergarten and wore the t-shirt I got as a dress to school the next day with a belt. I've stretched it out over the years and still wear it today. The picture above is actually of the shirt I own. Joyride tour 1991-1992.

Boys are like songs.

Whilst driving up to Edmonton from Calgary, I heard a song on the radio that I used to love. It was then that I decided that boys are like songs.

When I listen to a new c.d, there are always songs I listen to over and over again, forgetting that there are even other tracks on the disk. These are generally the kind of songs you have heard already, the very reason you bought the c.d and consequently everyone loves them too. I hate it when you love music only to find that it's everyone else's favorite as well. It takes away from you owning it or really, it owning you.

After I've finished with these songs, I let the c.d play over and over again. I soon grow tired of the ones I know inside and out and really start hearing the others. By the end of this month-or-so long process, I have usually abandoned the mainstream ship and to my delight, find many more reasons to love the new (but have always been there) tracks. They are, usually, songs at the end of the c.d oddly enough or right in the middle past the mid c.d "picking-up-the-pace-again" song.

Let's face it. Some boys are seen as the cats pyjamas and we girls fall into their classic boyish charms. They are obviously the mainstream song. I do not deny becoming a victim from time to time. I do however feel like I should leave those fellas to the gals who like that sort of lame short term heartbreak. You know the type of girl. She has to have the newest accesories, including the boy. He is the prada to her arm, the UGGS to her feet and He is the Ken to her Barbie.

I, on the other hand prefer to know someone well. well-well. To the core. John mayer writes in one of his songs "You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors, I'm learning you". Someone who was there but I hadn't learned. A hidden gem well worth the mining. The type of girl who looks for this is the one who goes into the old bookstores looking for Enid Blyton books (my favorite author as a child) just in case and every time even if doubtful. The girl who knows it is much better to have a man by her side not as prize but as a friend who knows her every eye brow raise and stare-forward-smirk. He is the antique charm bracelet to my life collecting memories to look on often and the rare shirt that wears just right, surviving every wash. He is the beauty mark you never knew truly made you beautiful.

I like to know the reasons why I like someone. In general, not just with boys. I have a crazy need to pin point exactly why I enjoy someone. If I can't, it drives me insane to the point that I make mental charts. Im serious, it's way more severe than you'd ever know. hah?

With a popular song or person, there's just something about them and that's alright but with a favourite, cherished item, there are reasons. A melody, a riff, a bridge, a note, a feeling stirred. Maybe it's a mannerism, a beleif, a swagger, a shared quirk or pure uninterupted laughter.

I told myself I wouldn't, but I will...

I can't leave this post without explanation. There is no boy so you shant need to worry yourself in trying to figure out who I might be posting about. I am tempted to make a list of all the boys who this post might have included and for sure the ones it doesn't just to avoid any embarassment or to clarify. That would be neither ethical nor necessary. I am no Taylor Swift of the blogging world that I need to use names.

Thanks, as always, for the read.

M

my weekend summed up

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat"
-Mother Teresa







"Everyone admires Mother Teresa, but no one wishes that she was their child"
-Meaghan Abbruzzese

Balance

What a stupid word.

Balance.

Okay, it's not a stupid word but pretty much my ability to integrate it into my life seems impossible.

To acheive a balanced wholistic life takes much planning and discpline. Real adults seem to manage it, fake adults seem to drown in it.



-Healthy Spirituality
-Healthy Lifestyles
-Healthy Mentality
-Healthy Emotions

Not to mention implementing:

-Finacial management
-Remembering to change the oil in your car
-Sending your sponsor child a letter
-Being a good friend, always
-Pursue Dreams
-Take hold of visions
-Take personanal time
-Make Time
-Be super smart

And Look good while doing it...

Can you think of anything else an adult is suppose to do? Be nice, be fun, be be be, do do do

73.5% of me wants to sell everything (haha, sell what..I've got nothing). Okay, give all my crap away. Get a Motorhome and get gone. Real gone.

When I decided I wanted to move to the North I said "I'd rather have either an extra ordinary life or a really solid normal one". Normal is not "in the cards" (God's cards of course) so it only leaves me to an extra oridinary life. You know then one where you meet some one and they've been here or there, eaten crazy foods, done dangerous things, had the weirdest habits and doesn't care that they don't fit into where socitey has destined to place them.

Thanks God for a complicated life, when I said extra ordinary I was looking for something less...ordinary...love you pal.

So here's to all those fake adults out there just wanting to be free!

I'm getting a new car this weekend which means...more need to balance new car payments.

Gross.

Love you all.

When I'm bored I...

If you are anything like me, you hate to be bored.

As an only child, boredom came quickly and often.

Imagine me in my room playing snakes and ladders alone contemplating whether or not I should cheat..on my self. Most of the times I would get up and play each side of the board as if I had a split personality...maybe this explains a few things.

Talk to myself? All the time. Once for school we were suppose to live for an evening as if we were physically challenged to experience what others without all of their limbs or hearing or sight experience. I chose to be mute. I failed miserably when I started talking to myself...after an hour.

For those of you who know me, being mute would possibly be the end of me.

My mom always tells the story about when I was a wee child and would not stop talking in the car. So, in order to grant herself a moment of auditory relief she would say "bet you can't be quiet for 3 minutes". I would then say "I can so", cross my arms tightly and pull my lips under my teeth as not to let one literal peep escape. The cruelty in this story is that I could not tell time and therefore would go for 5-10 minutes without self expression.

My mom honestly tells this story over and over again every time we gather with family friends. I don't know why, they were likely there for one of the episodes and they've likely heard the story a hundred times over accompanied my mothers snort laugh that I have unfortunately inherited. I suppose it's really the only thing she's got on me.

Boredom:

To curb the torture of boredom here are a few things I like to do:

www.postsecret.com : truly an engaging site however they only post once a week. They also have 4 books published. I love reading about other's secrets. If I had a superpower it would be mind reading. I'm addicted to knowing the true in's and outs of people

Reading at a Cafe: Don't really know why but I love to get a coffee and read in public. I think it makes me feel smart and urbanized. 'Hey everyone, look at me reading like it ain't no thang'...dumb.

People watching: This can be done by peeking over the book you're reading at the cafe but also most effective at airports, parks and shopping malls.

www.youtube.com : we're all aware of the time suck this site has or could have on our lives. Favorite videos include 'David at the Dentist', 'Nick Peterra a whole new world', 'Man in a hay baler' (a new addition), stupid cat videos (I'm aware I'm setting myself up for a lonely life of becoming a cat lady ) and 'autotune news' just to name a few.

Michaels : I like to go shopping for unnecessary craft supplies I'll eventually get bored of. This goes for really any other stores like Walmart, clothing stores even grocery shopping. When I'm bored, I spend. It's a bad habit since I spend when I'm not bored as well. When I lived in the North and needed something to do, I'd just go to get food as I knew I'd run into literally 5 people I knew and would have a good long chat.

Go for a drive : I feel the best way to get to know music and think is driving. My favorite time to drive is fall. Lots of thinking gets done on those evening drives.

So there are somethings I like to do when I don't have anything going on...like right now... in the spirit of this post I hope this did not, well, bore you.

Love,

Meaghan Ellen

Dear Nothing-is-by-chance

Dear Nothing-is-by-chance,

I've been thinking about our meeting and what wise things I could possibly say about it. It took me a full week to come up with just this (ha). I think that's alright. While somethings just happen, other things can be pre-meditated to ensure quality assurance.

I guess what I want to say is that I can really relate to you. I too have things inside that are stirring in that "who I really am" place. You have writing, I have music.

In thinking of that today, I've decided there are too many people who have the potential to do something great with their natural abilities but without any purpose other than to just be recognized. I say this only because I decided just this morning that while being famous and glorified would be swell (and desirable in addition to the goal of most of my friends in the music industry), I'd rather live offering the world whats been freely given to me without expecting some sort of status in return. I suppose that's what we call humility. Honour is respectable, being a rock star isn't if it's grasped for. Just a thought not directly connected to our conversation. An after eight type of after thought?

This being said, I hope your writing goes well. I hope that it takes form on the inside and transfers beautifully outwardly. I must say, I feel like you are quite the creative genius, even from meeting you only once. You don't seem like the type to take credit where it's not due. Perhaps a hard worker and very critical of your own work. I hope the purpose for which you write becomes the purpose in which you live for.

Feel free to add me to Fbook: meaghanellena or email me: meaghan_abbruzzese@hotmail.com

Cheers!

Meaghan Ellen

Yum.

Bus or Bust

Every morning on my way to work I pass a school bus (the totally legal way) with a bunch of parents standing outside the bus waiting for their wee ones to drive off.

It's quite a beautiful picture when I'm not trying to refrain from cussing when parents park on the wrong side of the road or let the kids dash into the street without warning to any other drivers. It's actually a kind of dangerous intersection with the kids and the cars and the bus...not the point of my post.

I love passing by seeing parents of all races standing together laughing, loving and waving. We're fortunate in this country to know other culture. I feel educated and embrassive (not abrasive, though a personality test once showed I might be....

Canada, a mosaic of diversity.

I remember my bus days well but not because they went well. The bus was a frightening place unless you had status. Status as in you knew what 2x2 was or could add really well or you faked that you did and could get a way with it. That goes a little something like this: "YA WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT 12846 PLUS 367498 is? NO? I DO...*oh my gosh I can't believe they didn't ask me if I did... hehe!* WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

I got on the bus by myself and that's where I think I developed my habit of lateness. I worried about making it on time, where to sit, sneaking the best part of my lunch to eat in the morning, whether or not the girl who looked like she was in the Brady Bunch Family would remember that I told her that and if I'd get off in time or at the right stop. This was just elementary school. High School transit posed it's own problems. Mostly whether I should tell the boys smoking up in the back to open a window or not so the bus didn't get hot boxed.

I thought that worrying was something new to my life but looking at this post it's safe to say that I've been a nervous wreck since the 90's.

I'm glad when I leave for work in the morning I smile at the bus now. A 'shout out' to the parents holding onto the memories of their babies leaving for school and a 'good luck' to all those kids battling to get to the back of the bus and top of the food chain.