Being a key-per

Since I was young I have always loved keys. I loved that a key had to fit a lock and a lock had to fit a key. I have key ornaments, old little keys, new big keys, a key charm on my bracelet and a key notebook. The Indian in the cupboard was magic alive not because the toy comes to life but because the key fit the cupboard.

If you are a girl (or a very feminine boy), you may have had one of those diaries that had a lock and came with two keys. This was prize possession of mine.

My mother bought me one as a reward for studying hard for a really big spelling test. She had never persuaded me with gifts before (though my allowance came in the form of Dino sours instead of cash, which in my opinion explains a lot for me) when it came to studying. She was determined to get me to memorize the whole list and if I had learned them perfectly before the test, she would buy me the diary.

The diary came from Wilson's stationary, my favorite store as a kid. I loved looking at the fresh note pads, all the pens, labels and especially the stamps. I'm not sure what it is about office supplies but it seemed exhilarating to me. Don't get me started on till tape calculators with the big pushable buttons. Anyways, I got the diary for studying (though I still remember the grade two test didn't go perfectly as I had misspelled one of the words I had never got wrong studying) but was extremely disappointed the day I found out that...the keys, in their miniature glory, could in fact...open any of those diaries.

Why have a lock and key if the keys can fit any other similar diary out there? My secrets were not safe and I was also disappointed when I found out if you reefed hard enough on the lock it would just pop open...

My intent on posting about keys was never about the diary but I just remembered the pain so I thought I would share.

As I was locking the house behind me today, I felt something I had never felt before.

My key chain was light.

I counted the keys. One, two, three, four. Earlier that morning I gave back two of my keys as I am now done at my other job. four? that's it? I flipped through the ring. Car key, house key, gaggys key (my grandmother) and most pathetically a key to my steering wheel lock I never use.

In Bible College I remember a professor sharing that it is usually the case that if a person has a lot of keys, they also hold a lot of responsibility. I was quite proud then and my key ring was booming with more than a dozen little puzzle pieces looped securely onto solid coiled metal. Church keys, work keys, many peoples house keys, keys to mails boxes and gates. My starter on my car was not safe as I was once scolded.

People when they saw my stash of keys would comment "whoa! you have a lot of keys" or "what are all those for?" Me? I would say casually, "oh just some house keys and work keys. Some of these I don't even know what they are for anymore". Now? pff, measly. It's like my key chain has scurvy.

I wondered this morning if it were true. Do I have less responsibility? Is there a key to importance ratio? (assuming responsibility equals importance). No, I do not work at a Church anymore. I don't live in a city where I know as many people to just freely walk into their houses. I don't have a key for work (though I am working) and no gate is waiting for me to be it's opener.

Maybe in the eyes of fellow peers I don't have much status, especially in any Church community or organization anymore (though none have commented or am I insinuating I am looked down upon in any way). I'm not climbing any corporate ladder or gaining social status but responsibility I do have. I am responsible for myself. For the things I say and do and how I portray Christ. That, is a huge responsibility I have willingly taken on. So I have concluded that great responsibility starts with myself and that I want to be faithful with what I already have.

..and that makes me a keeper in at the least the eyes of Jesus and hopefully yours too.

Love,

Meaghan

xoxo

Great Big Outdoor Living Room

I've been itching to get outside (kind of). In the north ALL my friends wanted to do was be in the great outdoors to which I used to protest. I feel I've changed (for the better) and am wishing I had some friends in Calgary who would say "lets do something outside". I am going to be purchasing snow shoes and am going to get outside. I wrote a song recently with the lyrics "not a word in this great big outdoor living room". If you know me at all I am usually an indoor cat but I'm begginig to feel like real living happens outside of my man made cage I keep myself in. Join me?

In browsing the kayak section of the web, I found this picture (I discovered this summer that I like kayaking and being on the water (not in the water)):



YIKES! ..I'll stick to lakes.

Stuff is not enough!..to make us happy

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Blogging loves! Check out this website and the video 'the story of stuff'.

Me the whole vid: "WHAT! NO! YES! THIS GIRL'S MA HERO! WHAT!"

I believe in this so so much.

Let's all find our place in the linear to help. Seriously.

b-b-b-back again

Hello lovers,

How have you been?

Oh you know, I'm doing well. Busy is all.

This past week I started my new job so I thought I'd fill you in on some little deets as to what I do and all. I know your immediate thought of a 'crisis nursery' is where the wahmbulance brings all the whiny boys and men to one place so they can be treated for the common cold or minor cuts and bruises because they are the biggest babies when they are sick, but it's not. They have wives for that.

I don't know where that came from, sorry guys.

The Children's Cottage Crisis Nursery. CCCN not CNN. Here are the official details:

http://www.childrenscottage.ab.ca/Programs/CrisisNursery.aspx

Here are the unofficial details of my job (yet accurate) recounted by yours truly:

My job is to care for children (and families, in a way) who are admitted to the program. Some children are brought voluntarily by their parents for a short term stay of up to 72 hours. Other children are apprehended by social services and are brought to the crisis nursery because foster care is unavailable. These children stay until a placement is found for them so they may be at the Children's Cottage for weeks. The nursery is basically this really big house that accommodates up to 12 children at one time from ages 0-8. 0? Yes, I've seen it all even in my first week there.

There is much to do in a 12 hour day shift (7 am to 7 pm) or a 12 hour awake night shift (7 pm to 7 am). Answering crisis calls, spending an upwards of an hour admitting children which includes gathering stats from the parents, offering resources or goal setting, collecting information on the child(ren), drawing a genogram (a symbolized family tree), doing a health check (viewing the child's body to chart any bruises, cuts, scrapes, rash and the like), bathing/feeding/playing with/diapering the babies and children and cleaning (those dirty diapers don't throw themselves away).

Maybe reading all my friend's facebook status re: only their children every.single.day or listening to them all talk about which formula they've chosen and why has benefited me in a way.

I'm basically a part time mother and it is slowly convincing me that I may not have to become a mother at all since I get my fill at work. There are so many children who need care, why make a new batch. I foresee adoption in my far off future.

The days/nights are long but the work is worth it. Tantrums occur often, screaming babies is the music to my workday and hard questions like "is my mom ever going to come back for me?" are answered frequently but never easily. I have a huge deal of respect for the women (because there are no men, yet) who work there and have been for years. I also am IN LOVE with volunteers who make my day ten times easier even if just holding a child.

I'm the rookie who still has a lot to learn and is internally shocked while holding a baby who is looking at me like "you aren't my mom" and I don't pretend to be. That's why I feel like "go ahead and have your tantrum. It's alright. You deserve to be thinking about you right now". This past week I've felt like having my own little tantrums outside of work but if the worst thing that's happened to me in a day is that my shower is cold or that I don't want to get up at 5:30 a.m, I'm doing pretty good.

Sometimes I stare at a sleeping baby and pray over them and into them a fulfilled life. I am blessed to be where I am. I am hoping to remember this when the excitement of a new job has worn off and my whits end is frayed.

The best news about my job is that because we work such long hours, we get a lot of days (and every 7th week) off. I'm hoping to spend more time in Edmonton, Canmore and even your local city if it's neither of these two. I'm also hoping on my days off I can take up some sort of sport. Maybe like virtual basketball or something. Actually, I'd like to get fit so I can pursue more outdoorsy activities in the summer like hiking and kayaking. Another current goal is save money to travel and travel to save. I had a few tricks up my sleeve waiting to see the daylight of reality. I also am hoping working at the Children's Cottage will help me decide if I'd like to go back to school or not.

There you are! So by day I'm a child support worker and by night I'm ....a child support worker...because my that's how my shifts work...

Questions? Put 'em in the comment box and I'll answer 'em.

Love.