b-b-b-back again

Hello lovers,

How have you been?

Oh you know, I'm doing well. Busy is all.

This past week I started my new job so I thought I'd fill you in on some little deets as to what I do and all. I know your immediate thought of a 'crisis nursery' is where the wahmbulance brings all the whiny boys and men to one place so they can be treated for the common cold or minor cuts and bruises because they are the biggest babies when they are sick, but it's not. They have wives for that.

I don't know where that came from, sorry guys.

The Children's Cottage Crisis Nursery. CCCN not CNN. Here are the official details:

http://www.childrenscottage.ab.ca/Programs/CrisisNursery.aspx

Here are the unofficial details of my job (yet accurate) recounted by yours truly:

My job is to care for children (and families, in a way) who are admitted to the program. Some children are brought voluntarily by their parents for a short term stay of up to 72 hours. Other children are apprehended by social services and are brought to the crisis nursery because foster care is unavailable. These children stay until a placement is found for them so they may be at the Children's Cottage for weeks. The nursery is basically this really big house that accommodates up to 12 children at one time from ages 0-8. 0? Yes, I've seen it all even in my first week there.

There is much to do in a 12 hour day shift (7 am to 7 pm) or a 12 hour awake night shift (7 pm to 7 am). Answering crisis calls, spending an upwards of an hour admitting children which includes gathering stats from the parents, offering resources or goal setting, collecting information on the child(ren), drawing a genogram (a symbolized family tree), doing a health check (viewing the child's body to chart any bruises, cuts, scrapes, rash and the like), bathing/feeding/playing with/diapering the babies and children and cleaning (those dirty diapers don't throw themselves away).

Maybe reading all my friend's facebook status re: only their children every.single.day or listening to them all talk about which formula they've chosen and why has benefited me in a way.

I'm basically a part time mother and it is slowly convincing me that I may not have to become a mother at all since I get my fill at work. There are so many children who need care, why make a new batch. I foresee adoption in my far off future.

The days/nights are long but the work is worth it. Tantrums occur often, screaming babies is the music to my workday and hard questions like "is my mom ever going to come back for me?" are answered frequently but never easily. I have a huge deal of respect for the women (because there are no men, yet) who work there and have been for years. I also am IN LOVE with volunteers who make my day ten times easier even if just holding a child.

I'm the rookie who still has a lot to learn and is internally shocked while holding a baby who is looking at me like "you aren't my mom" and I don't pretend to be. That's why I feel like "go ahead and have your tantrum. It's alright. You deserve to be thinking about you right now". This past week I've felt like having my own little tantrums outside of work but if the worst thing that's happened to me in a day is that my shower is cold or that I don't want to get up at 5:30 a.m, I'm doing pretty good.

Sometimes I stare at a sleeping baby and pray over them and into them a fulfilled life. I am blessed to be where I am. I am hoping to remember this when the excitement of a new job has worn off and my whits end is frayed.

The best news about my job is that because we work such long hours, we get a lot of days (and every 7th week) off. I'm hoping to spend more time in Edmonton, Canmore and even your local city if it's neither of these two. I'm also hoping on my days off I can take up some sort of sport. Maybe like virtual basketball or something. Actually, I'd like to get fit so I can pursue more outdoorsy activities in the summer like hiking and kayaking. Another current goal is save money to travel and travel to save. I had a few tricks up my sleeve waiting to see the daylight of reality. I also am hoping working at the Children's Cottage will help me decide if I'd like to go back to school or not.

There you are! So by day I'm a child support worker and by night I'm ....a child support worker...because my that's how my shifts work...

Questions? Put 'em in the comment box and I'll answer 'em.

Love.

love to the people

I suppose I'll just throw a little update up on here.

I'm still freezing in Edmonton but having a nice little visit with all things friends.

Christmas doesn't excite me like it used to as a kid. I think most of us feel like that, right? I mean it translates into our birthdays and easter too. I don't feel as if I am going to die two days before Christmas or spontaneously combust until it's FINALLY my birthday. ...That means I'm all growed up.

I was excited to come to Edmonton for the week though. There was a no-fight Christmas with the fam and there has been lots and lots of cuddles with my new little (garden gnome) neice. Not to mention seeing lots of friends I haven't seen in a while and more visits to come (bring on games night, I'm in the zone).

Sadly on Saturday (but with some anticipation) I head back to the butt-crack of Alberta, Calgary, to start my new job at the Children's Cottage. We shall see how it goes! I'm nervous but anxious to start.

I'm not sure if you know but I always get crazy when I start a new job. I have a fear of being stuck. Tied down...not.. able to leave... so that is weighing on my mind. I have some plans though (not exit stratgegy plans, though those blueprints are always tucked safely away in the back room filing cabinets of my mind) and this really great new opportunity of a job will help me accomplish them.

My New Years Resolution? To not fool myself into making one.

Love.

tired of

I'm tired of people.

Never thought I'd say it but there it is.

An old post, a new day

Upon perusing the candy section at Blockbuster for sweet snack i found myself overwhelmed by the flashy, chemical induced candy selection. Why.

Why do we need to spray flavour on our tongues, squeeze gum out of a tube or suck on lollipops attached to bells and whistles?

I like fun as much as the next guy but when it comes to candy, kickin' it old school is where I'm at.

Let's take a look at the milk duds.

The box: mustard color with brown and tacky red.

The tag line: Milk Chocolate Covered Caramels.

The candy: imperfect circles resembling animal poo

That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. The way it was. The original.

I feel like I'm a milk dud amongst flashy candy.

Original, not perfect but dang tasty.

Here I am again pondering the wonderful
It only takes a moment to close my eyes and escape the here and now
funny to be present but not in attendance

My eye lids dim and a flickering thought is sparked inside the proverbial fireplace I'm in that place where the only verb is to be
Only the loveliest thoughts happen here
an old house, an old truck and an old cat
not everything is aged though, only when I want it to be

Me, I'm there as well and simple is my only accessory
long hair and health are my reality there and I do as I please
sometimes, but not lately, I've left the house or it doesn't exist yet
the fire place is cold and the house is dark

I'm sitting on a stage, a large stage
It's hushed as I sit on a single chair and be
be in front of thousands of other people who are being as well
but sometimes, lately, I've left the stage or it doesn't exist yet either
the stage is bare and the audience empty

I'm sitting in the dirt, I dig my hands deep into the soil so I know that I'm alive
there across from me is a woman
she tells me about her life in her country
a small infant, a small wage, a small inheritance of hope

Not everything is small though, only when I want it to be
mostly because it's up to me what I choose to see and what I don't
the only thing that is overwhelming large is the heaviness and then the realization of responsibility
as a woman and as a life

I tie up my hair, kiss the child and slowly shift the weight of my backpack evenly over my shoulders and pull the straps securely around my waist
and in walking away, I fear that I've gone back to my real place. I think.

A little to doolie list...

Here is a to doolie list I'll never accomplish unless I became a full time hobbyist. It would be really stellar if I could be really good at something in the list below, or all of them.

1. Kayaking. I'd like to kayak a lot.
2. Join a bowling league. Complete with the brown collared shirt with my name embroidered on the pocket.
3. Wake boarding. I want to impress all the boys.
4. Sparring. I used to when I was a kid. Time to take it up again.
5. Go back to dance. Ballet, Jazz, Contemporary, hip hop. I want it all back.
6. Shoot stuff. Target practise or hunting, bullets or arrows. I just want to get real good at aiming...just in case.
7. Join a black gospel choir. Two of my favorite things combined into one. Handsome men and...okay just kidding, singing and being passionate about the Lord.
8. Take gourmet cooking classes. I love to cook!
9. Get better at guitar. This way I can play my songs all over the world and not be so embarrased by my lack of strumming skills.
10. Be good at fixing stuff. I would like to be able to fix things so I can be an independant woman of the 21st century.

Wisemen Kissing.

I'm trying to think of silly antics I've been up to, new news or something to complain about but I can't think of anything.

Well, there's lots I could complain about but nothing very amusing. I have no inspiration to spread and nothing witty to say.

Maybe I am sick.

Something, I guess, is that I have taken on a full time position at a crisis nursery in Calgary. It's a pretty exciting transition and I'm looking forward to learning the "new ropes". I get concerned looks from my peers with young families when I ask if anyone has the book "what to expect during the first year". No guys, I'm not pregnant and if I were your clue would be me asking for "what to expect when you're expecting". It's been quite sometime since I've cared for newborns and infants so I just need a refresher course. You would be surprised at the change in methods for caring for a wee ones.

My plan is read up on infants so no children are harmed in the process of me working at the cottage. I'm going to hit up the local library for the book. Libraries are really intimidating places. You can't talk loud, it smells musty, the looming Dewey decimal system and if you forget to turn your cell phone ringer off they will hunt you down. I've been scolded multiple times in libraries.

Come to think of it, 'tis the season where at Vanguard I used to make two of the wise men in the Nativity scene kiss while Mrs. Perry was away from here desk. Then the next day I would watch her change it around and ask whoever was near her desk who had done it. "Mrs. Perry" I would say, "the Bible does say to greet one another with a holy kiss but how inappropriate"...some Bible college students...

Those sure were the days.

On an unrelated note, I have been noticing some horrible spelling errors I have been making. I blame it being raised on spellcheck. I am also making it an endeavor to get back on the spelling train. All aboard?